


a comedy of errors

by alessandriana



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-03 23:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alessandriana/pseuds/alessandriana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And what, pray tell," Landry finally continued, a heavy dose of reluctance in his tone, "did you find on the other side of this… alternate reality… slash dimension… slash time period?"</p><p>"There were… animals. Sir."</p><p>General Landry stared. "Animals," he repeated. </p><p>"Singing animals," Teal'c put in. </p><p>(based on a prompt by conuly. sheer and utter crack.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	a comedy of errors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [conuly](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=conuly).



> I was poking around through my writing folder and found this one. Originally written late 2011.

"So what you're saying is that when Mitchell hit the device with his elbow, it activated and sent you forward in time," General Landry said slowly, testing the words out in his mouth. 

"At least three hundred years," Sam confirmed. 

"And in the chaos, Dr. Jackson tripped and knocked over a quantum mirror-- which, again, turned on, causing you all to be sent into another _reality_."  

"They must have moved the mirror into storage in that room sometime between now and the time period in which we appeared," Daniel put in. "It wasn't there before."

General Landry tapped his pen, a staccato beat in the embarrassed silence of the conference room. "And then," he rolled onwards, "Colonel Carter bumped into Teal'c, causing him to step on the remote to a third unknown device, which _subsequently activated_ ,sending you all to _another dimension_." His pen clattered to the table and he leaned back in his chair, running a despairing hand across his forehead. "My God, it's like a bad comedy routine."

Sam winced, and traded chagrined looks with Cam and Daniel over the broad expanse of the conference table. Seated at the end, Teal'c was serene as ever, but refused to quite meet anyone's eyes. Vala was the only one who seemed truly relaxed, kicking back in her chair with a broad smirk on her face-- which was absurd, given that she was the _reason_ they'd been in the storage room in the first place. 

"And what, pray tell," Landry finally continued, a heavy dose of reluctance in his tone, "did you find on the other side of this… alternate reality… slash dimension… slash time period?"

The rest of SG-1 turned as one to look at Sam, the traitors. 

"You're the only one he'll believe," Cam murmured, _sotto voce_. 

He had a point, but Sam didn't have to like it. Giving him a dark look, she cleared her throat and dove on the grenade.  

"There were… animals. Sir."

General Landry stared. "Animals," he repeated. 

" _Singing_ animals," Teal'c put in. 

"Every one of them," Vala elaborated, clearly relishing the words, "wearing SGC uniforms."

There was a long silence. Landry's face had taken on a decidedly frozen expression. Rolling backwards from the table, he hit the intercom button on the wall. "Walter?" he said, calmly. 

"Yes, sir?" Walter's voice crackled from the speaker.

"Have SG-1's medical results come back yet?" 

"Yes, sir. They came back clean of all known toxins, hallucinogens, and other mentally altering substances, sir." 

General Landry's eyebrows were furrowed so tightly as he looked from face to face, trying to see if they were pulling a fast one on him, that Sam was afraid they were going to freeze like that. 

(Sam almost wished they _were_ trying to pull a fast one. At least then she wouldn't have to live with the memory of an ink-black jaguar (who had reminded her disturbingly of Teal'c) tap dancing in the middle of the gate room, singing the lyrics to _Memory,_ from _Cats._

He'd been a surprisingly decent singer, for a jaguar. The back-up chorus, on the other hand…)

"Is there anything else, sir?" Walter's voice over the intercom interrupted that dangerous train of thought, a welcome distraction. 

"No, Walter, that'll be all," Landry said.  

She looked up to see he'd leaned back in his chair and was kneading the crease on his forehead, looking pained, but no longer like he was questioning their sanity. 

"Was anyone injured during this adventure of yours?" was all he asked. 

Daniel raised his hand. "There was an incident with a cuttlefish. I sort of… died again," he admitted. 

Landry gave him a flat look. 

"I got better," Daniel protested.  

Landry repressed a sigh. "Was anyone _permanently_ injured or killed?" he specified. Head shakes all around. "No? How about possession? Did anyone turn into an animal? Change genders? I'm just trying to cover all the bases here," he said, in response to their looks. "Nothing? Good."

He shoved his chair back from the table; caught off-guard, SG-1 struggled to rise with him. 

"It's been a long day, and frankly, I don't actually _want_ to know what shenanigans you got up to this time," he said. "So long as there's nothing else I need to hear about right this moment--" at his glare, Vala's mouth snapped shut on whatever she had been going to say "--I'm declaring this meeting over. Go home, get some rest, and have your reports on my desk on Monday morning. Maybe by then I'll have the stomach to read them." 

He nodded shortly at them and swept out of the room. The door swung shut with a heavy _thud_.

"I think that went rather well," Vala said into the silence, brightly.  

Cam leaned back in his chair and sighed. "You realize he thinks we're all crazy now, right?" 

"Trust me, we'd all be in a nice white padded room right now if he thought we were crazy," Daniel said.

Sam sighed. _"Incompetent_ , on the other hand…"

 

 


End file.
